Neunundneunzig

I don't think we're done yet. I don't think either that it was never going to happen.

32:45 into What the Bleep Do We Know and two text messages into communication with someone I had a revelation: I finally understand why I've had crushes on male beings virtually all my life but why I have felt relationships to be a suffocating matter. My secret garden is quite a lot bigger than I thought and than anyone might imagine, and I need my bubble to myself. My consciousness is so big that I feel everyone around me, and if I don't withdraw into myself, I disintegrate. Yearning for a person was important because it proved that there was someone, something out there that was worth sharing life with. If someone - by a freak accident of nature - suddenly decided to put all his attention on me, I withered like a shade-loving plant in summer sunlight.

Of course that doesn't explain my recent dream of two certain guys. What does it mean again if you're facing someone? It doesn't explain either why things are happening the way they are happening. But it might be a start. Let's see what the rest of the movie will tell me.